Once you have installed it, click on the irc icon (the gray dot at the bottom of the window) and on Connection Manager.
And I don't know where to go to get to the gray dot you refer to.
As I say to myself "computers were supposed to save us time, right?
just waite a minute or two, it takes some time. If you want, you can click on the circle and select Toggle Status Window, it will show you the connection status.
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