I guess part of my problem is that I do not understand how having a wedding fundamentally alters a relationship. That isn't to say that it doesn't, in general, just that I personally don't get how changing your relationship status in the eyes of the law changes your relationship status in any other way. I have been married, and for me, having a ceremony and signing some papers didn't make the relationship different at all. Except maybe that for several weeks after the wedding I kept laughing at the idea that I was married because it seemed so ridiculous. But, that's just me
So, it's hard for me to grasp why Lennier is so hung up on the marriage thing. He's all "well, now that you're married, I've got to get out of your way". Was he maybe just hopeful that as long as Sheridan and Delenn weren't married, maybe there was still a chance they'd decide they didn't want to be together after all?
Lennier's job description doesn't change depending on Delenn's relationship status. Unless there is something about Minbari culture I never picked up on before, I would imagine there is little to no overlap between the "aide" position and the "romantic partner" position. Lennier and Delenn have become close and he is more to her than just an aide (confidant, friend, ..) but, her having a love interest doesn't mean she doesn't still need an aide. That's why arrangements are being made for a replacement. Lennier knows that also, so when he says "You don't need me" I guess he doesn't mean she doesn't need an aide, but more like that she doesn't need him, personally? I could definitely see how a person might feel that way, and wouldn't want to be around a person who didn't love them in the way they hoped they would. But, Lennier seemed to be doing just fine suppressing his own feelings in the past.
For me, the first hint of his bitterness is in that comment about unrequited love in Rising Star. I've seen people discuss Lennier's "disappointment" at Sheridan's "resurrection" (soo many quotation marks), but I just really don't see that. Again, that isn't to say it's not there, just that I haven't been able to detect it. I've been known to miss obvious things, but I would argue that this one isn't remotely obvious. I could be wrong
I agree with Springer at #37 that Lennier's somewhat obsessive Ranger training makes perfect sense in the context of him getting away from the Delenn situation and redirecting his frustration. Joining the Rangers seems like the logical choice for someone with his background in that particular situation. I don't object to that part of it at all. I do object to him telling Delenn "Well, maybe if I complete this training, you'll like me the way I want you to" (I paraphrase
) which is just painful to watch. I know he's young, and presumably his extensive training on Minbar didn't include anything to do with interpersonal relationships (it really should, though), but that seems like some high level cluelessness from an otherwise bright person.
This sort of toxic cocktail of wishful thinking, jealousy, bitterness isn't unrealistic in itself. It's a quite common thing among real world humans, and it leads otherwise reasonable people to do horrible things, much like what we see happen to Lennier in this storyline. What I object to (and it seems to me from the replies that this is also what others object to) is that this doesn't fit with what we know of Lennier's personality. He seems like one of the most loyal, devoted, and conscientious characters on the show. And perhaps that's why this is his fifth season storyline. It wouldn't have been very interesting to see someone less conscientious do what Lennier does. But my ability to stretch my willingness to believe only goes so far.
I guess my main takeaway from this storyline is that for beloved characters, there are fates worse than death!