Hilarious caller: \"Hi Jerry, you coward!\"
Jerry had just talked to the Mayor of Marquette county, Kansas, and after that talked to a listener who answered his trivia question on hockey and won a prize.
JD: Allright I've got a caller out there that says he wants to talk about ME. He has problems with me. So we're gonna' go to New York city and talk with David. David, you're on the program.
Caller: Yeah, Hi Jerry, you coward.
JD: Oh, how so?
Caller: Yeah, well, you're afraid of me. You're afraid of my comments.
JD: You're on the air. How could I be afraid of you, you're on the air. Let's go with the obvious first.
Caller: (Unintelligeble) won't put me on the air because you're afraid of what I might say, you know...
JD: You're on the air, stupid!
Caller: Yeah, well, first of all, before I get to you let me say
JD: Yeah
Caller: Regarding
Marquette county, Kansas: I'm sorry Mr Piper [mayor of Marquette county], most people are not interested in living in Nowhereville, Kansas and becomming tornado bait. HEHEHEHE!
Producer: (Plays clip of song "Wanna talk about me, wanna talk about I")
JD: (Laughing) Dave
[Snip, snip. Caller confused about wether the land was free]
[Snip, snip. Caller asking why building a home on tornado land]
Caller: Now let me get to you.
JD: (laughing) OK, get to me.
Caller: You like to diss everybody in Hollywood but you used to be in the Hollywood crowd. Now, because your acting carreer is over, ah, a failure
JD: (Over caller) oh, a failure?
Caller: ah, ah, that pathetic, ah, rotten series Babylon 5 which -- I am a science fiction fan, but I never watched that show because it sucked. He.
JD: I see, you never watched it, but it sucked. OK. Good, keep going. Feel free to beat me up, go ahead.
Caller: I saw part of one episode for maybe 5 or 10 minutes, and I never tuned in again, it was horrible science fiction.
JD: Thank you.
Caller: It was no Star Trek, believe me, it was very bad, BAD, "sci-fi", ha, ha, HEHE!
JD: Thank you. Appreciate it, anything else you wanna' add, as long as you're in such a good mood?
Caller: So you had to fall back on talk radio after your acting career was over, huh? Now you wanna diss the people in the same industry that you used to be a part of?
JD: I was never a part of.. I worked there. There's a difference between bcomming a part of the fabric of the insanity, and using it to have a little fun, make a little money, and then move on and do something else. And when I realised, David, that Hollywood was no longer the place for me, and when I realised that I could no longer try and get any attention, respect or employment from people who I had no respect FOR, then it was time for me to move on. And the all-lovable liberal Hollywood big-tent open arms when I decided to run for Congress in 2000 as a Republican said: "You can't be a Republican, I like you!" And that's when I knew, these people were truly delusional. Much like yourself.
Caller: Would you just please admit that you're jealous of them?
JD: Jealous of who?
Caller: Hello?
JD: Who would I be jealous of? Name one person I would be jealous of.
Caller: You're jealous of successful Hollywood actors and television actors, who are, you know, they are starring in major programs (...)[tries to get point accross here]
Caller: Nobody's gonna' remember you and your pathetic television sci-fi show, and come on...
Producer: (Plays soundclip: "How about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE HELL UP?")
JD: I know, David you're right. I had a pathetic career. I was only on TV and film for 12 years. I only made 50 grand a week. (...) I guess I was a miserable failure on Wall Street, and I was certainly horrible when I was in the jet business. So, you know what David, I'm glad you called because I come now to truly understand what a failure I am (...) I'm probably gonna' have to call on you on a regular basis to remind me of what a pathetic existence I have, what a failure I am as human being, and how I need people like you to remind me of that, to ground me, to keep me centered and understanding, that if I really strive and really work at it, that I can become as enlightened as you are. And that gives me hope, David.
(Snip, snip. Caller starts rambling about a Spanish language movie about a plane crashing into a building, etc. Jerry responds. They talk about the movie.)
JD: No, David, I've gotta go, I'm comming up on a break here. I apprechiate you taking your time, and tell your nurse it's been fun. 800-876-4123! Jerry Doyle, the pathetic loser, the horrific existence that I lead, the miserable failure that I am, WILL BE RIGHT BACK.
Nelson from "The Simpsons": HA! HA! (played by the producer)
