I am not Jodie Foster. I just want to make that perfectly clear. Anybody who claims that I am Jodie Foster will by contacted by my lawyers. Anybody who claims to know somebody who was introduced by their brother's best friend at a private engagement to a person who, while drunk, pretended to act out a famous scene from some movie that may, or may not, have had Jodie Foster in it, will be sued to the fullest extent of the law.
I am not Jodie Foster!
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