Re: Rangers Redux
the past
Nobody noticed that Sarah had returned. The barracks -- a temporary, jury-rigged ad-hoc structure that the Ranger Council had been promising for years to convert into something more permanent, after the war, maybe -- were abuzz with the chaotic activity surrounding deployment. Duffels were carefully packed, surfaces cleaned and disinfected, Rangers calling to each other above the hubbub.
Most of the Enfalli's crew bunked in this one large room while they were in drydock for a refit. On the elderly cruiser, barracks were cut up into rooms of fifteen or twenty beds, but here -- here, aside for the captain and shok'nali, the Enfalli's crew all slept in an amalgamated gaggle: in double-bunked, cheaply-made straight beds for humans, and leaning, uncomfortable contraptions for Minbari.
Upon the Enfalli's return to Tuzanor, they'd offered her the room previously occupied by her dead captain. She'd refused, shuddering.
I'm no captain, she'd thought. I just got lucky, that's all. Don't want to jinx myself.
She found Bastian in his back-corner bottom bunk, duffel packed impeccably, writing a letter on a computer tablet.
"Didn't know you had one of those," she remarked, leaning against the metal bed. She forced herself to crack a smile. Her aide, a talented marksman with an unkempt, tawny-brown mane, round features, and soft, puffy skin bunched around small eyes, looked up from his work.
"Naw, I borrowed it," he said, smiling wanly and unenthusiastically. "Thought I'd get a letter out before we're on the Whitestar and comms go cold."
Sarah found herself staring, Mural's words echoing in her ears. Not coming back, Whitestar 27 is not coming back.
"You -- excited about going?" she asked, lamely, scrambling for words to tell Bastian before he caught on that she knew something.
The young man frowned in thought. "Yeah," he said. "Never been on a Whitestar. I mean, I'm good with organic technology, but the weapons pods they have on those things are supposed to be just -- just gold-medal, even better than the sims."
He shrugged, leaned down, and dashed off a quick conclusion to the letter.
"Who are you writing?" Sarah asked, a nervousness clutching at her chest.
Bastian grinned. "Oh, the parents. My cousin, Louise. Just want to let them know that I'm all right. They've probably heard the reports by now..." he trailed off.
Sarah shook her head.
"You know they're not going to let you send that letter, Bast," she replied softly.
Bastian snorted and got to his feet, tying the laces tight on his workboots.
"Shit, Sarah, I know that. It just feels better to -- to write them, you know what I mean, it feels better to think that someone out there -- knows what we're doing here," he finished, shoving his hands in pants pockets. "And -- I've just got so much on my mind. I want them to know in case I don't come back."
She bit her lip. I'm lying to him, she thought. "The hell you won't."
Bastian handed the computer tablet to one of the passing engineers, who thanked him and sat down nearby to use it. He zipped open his duffel and rustled through it, through impeccably-folded work uniforms and the few personal items he was allowed.
"Be realistic," he answered. "This is a Whitestar I'm going on. They don't send ships like the Enfalli on the dangerous missions. Shadows'd have a torpedo up our ass before we could say 'What the hell is that?'"
"Bast-" she said, and stopped short, feeling cold.
Bastian sat slowly back down on the bunk, leaned forward and let his elbows rest on his knees. He turned his face upward towards Sarah.
"Congratulations on your promotion," he said.
"Yeah, you too," she returned, hollowly.
They sat in silence for a moment before Bastian slapped his knee and got up.
"Well, I signed up for training time this afternoon, so I guess I'd better head out," he said.
Now or never, she thought. Definitely never.
"Bast, I wanted to tell you that you're possibly the best marksman--"
He held his hand up, cutting her off by clearing his throat. He slung the duffel over his shoulder and stared back at her: his clear eyes sober and angry.
"I don't want to hear it, Sarah, I'm leaving tomorrow," he said. "It's like hearing my own fucking eulogy."
He passed her, and she watched his back recede and fade into a grouping of Minbari engine techs chatting softly at the entrance.