Star Trek?

[PillowRock]

What I *think* was intended is:

3. Make the captain commanding. Right now he is an indecisive yutz that is on his way to taking Chacote's gelding of the universe trophy.

 

[Cerberus]

I just read this in Playboy:

"In 1966 the budget for Star Trek was $100,000/episode. Today, an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise costs $5 million to produce."

Don't know how accurate this is but JMS B5 cost about $1 million to produce not to long ago.

Just thought this was interesting.

Cerberus

 

[ElScorcho]

You read something in Playboy?

 

[Chilli]

O boy. You read the articles in a Playboy.

Man.

And I thought I was a geek

 

[Cerberus]

What can I say, it had a chick setting on top

and this was the caption for the "Fact of the Month."

Cerberus

 

[Rid]

Ah well as I have said ever since nogood voyager came on air, shut down trek.
Take a long break, maybe not to return either.
This recycling of stories has worn itself out badly.

 

[Glacophane]

I think they need a threat to humanity. There are so many races how can any of them not want to control a planet that has just gotten into space.

I think the same thing. Another aspect of the Trek tech that keeps changing is the universal translator. In some eps it's necessary to communicate and in other eps it's non-existent. A cool idea would be maybe a mis-interrpretation by Hoshi that leads to a war with an alien race. how many times in human history has a first contact situation turned deadly or to war? This is a prequel; these people are supposedly the first humans on a starship from earth but watching it makes me feel like they aren't. In TOS it would take hours or days to get messages to and from Starfleet. Enterprise needs to get out of the Vulcan database universe.

 

[**DONOTDELETE**]

Thanks pillow rock, I did mean

3. Make the captin commanding and not an indiscive yuts thats on his way to taking chacote's gelding of the universe trophy.

I usually get on this board either just after I wake up or just before going to bed, when I have the fewest number of working or cooperating brain cells. Hey that could be strategy for destroying the borg. Let them assimalte me when I start getting tired and watch the fun happen.

Borg Queen: "We are setting course to planet 127487 so that we may assimilate it."

Drone Xzyl: "Can we go out and get pizza instead?"

Borg Queen: "No."

Drone Xzyl: "Burgers?"

Borg Queen: "No."

Drone Xzyl: "Arby's"

Borg Queen: "No."

Drone Xzyl: "Tacos?"

Borg Queen: "No."

Drone Xzyl: "Chines?"

Borg Queen: "We assimilated some of them."

Drone Xzyl: "No, I ment chines food."

Borg Queen: "No."

Drone Xzyl: "Baskin Robbins?"

Borg Queen: "No."

After some thinking.

Drone Xzyl: "Hey queenie, there was this report from a space travler about a really rare and valuable susbtance called KFC. It could be of startegic value to the collective."

Borg Queen: "Where do we obtain it?"

Drone Xzyl: "There is a rumor that there is some back on earth."

Borg Queen: "Cube we are going back."

Later on several malfunctions and small explosions occure.

Borg Queen: "What is the malfunction?"

Drone: "Several data transfer cables are missing."

Borg Queen: "Where at?"

The drone shows her on a schematic. The Queen heads off to that location.

Borg Queen: "Drone Xzyl what are you doing with all those data transfer cables!?"

Drone Xzyl: "There was not enough light in my alcove stand up coffin thingy to read so I just grabbed some of these light bright ropes and hung them up. They did the trick."

In total frustration the borg queen storms off for a full maintance routine.

Later when she wakes up she has her disembodied head moved over to where her body will be assembled. The holders for her various parts arrive but without her body parts.

Borg Queen: "Where are my body parts!?"

Drone: "Scanning."

Borg Queen: "Dont even bother just take me to drone Xzyl's alcove."

The drone with head in hand goes to wheree he was instructed. There they find Drone Xzyl with the queen's parts.

Borg Queen: "What are you doing with my body parts!?"

Drone Xzyl: "I was getting tired of all that standing and I could not find a chair or a bed to rest on so I decided to make one. Your parts are the only ones I could find to make into a chair. See when your body is in a seated position it kind of fourms a chair except that it does not have any back leggs so I took the arms and bolted them to your hips so that they could be back leggs."

The queen's head looks in disbeilef.

Drone Xzyl: "And when I get sleepy I can change the angle of the arms and legs to make it like a lawn chair reclyner."

Borg Queen: "You left me nothing."

Drone Xzyl: "Thats not true. You can have your boobs back, they were poking me in the back so I took them off."

The queen's jaw drops. Drone Xzyl leans in to her ear and whispers "It's OK, I promise I wont tell anybody that they are not real."

The queen's head convulses in a fit of anger, frustration, humiliation, and then explodes.

Drone Xzyl: "OK the boss is gone, we have this huge network, lets fire up some games."

Xzyl and the rest of the drones spend the rest of eternaty playing networked games and the rest of the universe is spared.

The End.

 

[hypatia]

The idea of jazzing up Enterprise with a war is a sad one to me. Been there, done that, is more my attitude to another war arc.

There must be a way to write interesting stories without it inevitably leading to a long drawn-out war arc.

 

[GShans]

Xzyl, that was the funniest Borg stuff i ever read, that'd be a great cartoon short.

 

[Jomar]

The trouble with Enterprise is that it is boring and predictable. As soon as the plot problem is revealed you know exactly what is going to happen. We've seen it all before.

Common sense says that a new race entering space for the first time will lose most if not all battles with other races that have been in space for generations so they really can't allow the humans to get into many dangerous situations..
Since the Enterprise appears to be the only ship of the line, there is no one to rescue them if they get in trouble so everything has to be settled peacefully.

I think B&B made a mistake when they went back in time, the fans of today are too knowledgeable and have seen hundreds of scifi episodes of battles and wars, with lots of special effects. Enterprise is old fashioned by today's standards. Since they can't change the series now, I hope they will just let it rest in peace at the end of this season.

 

[ElScorcho]

The trouble with Enterprise is that it is boring and predictable. As soon as the plot problem is revealed you know exactly what is going to happen. We've seen it all before.

I agree, especially with the boring part. I'm not one who needs dazzling FX and space battles to be interested in a sci-fi show, but every time I flip on Enterprise, it's just people standing around talking. All the actors have the same expressions on their faces (most of them seem constipated). And the plot never needs a map.

When the commercial break comes, I inevitably start flipping and rarely return.

Now it seems there is a Trek documentary in the works being produced by Roddenberry's son, Eugene. They're asking for fan input - so if anyone's interested, you can check here to take a survey.

 

[Glacophane]

I didn't mean that Enterprise should start a war to make it more violent. I just meant it could lead to some great stories about the people involved. Like it was mentioned earlier; many people know about early Trek and its history. And in that history it was a little violent. I agree that some of it should be handled peacefully but misunderstandings do and will occurr. Oh well..must just be me then....